Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize