Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize