Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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