Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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