I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
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They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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