Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.

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(360): View more from Washington

I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.

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(503): View more from Oregon

After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.

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(972): View more from Texas

Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.

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(310): View more from California

may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...

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(334): View more from Alabama

My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..

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(416): View more from Toronto

There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.

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