just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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