nut hugger
I accidentally burped into my bong.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize