How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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