I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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