Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
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There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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