what if every blade of grass was a penis?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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