Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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