I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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