we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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