the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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