k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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