You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
this just has baby written all over it
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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