Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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