the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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