Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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