so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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