I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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