I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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