I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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