her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
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Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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