Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize