Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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