So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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