Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize