so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize