idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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