Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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