Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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