and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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