i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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