i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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