I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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