he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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