just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize