i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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