how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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