whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
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not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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