Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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