i barfeds in our rink
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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