smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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