My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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