you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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