New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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