i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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