I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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