my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize